Wednesday, December 22, 2004

"Do you know who I am?"

6:30AM Its my usual time-to-get-up at home and have a cup of steaming coffee. But today I am still sleeping peacefully.

7:00AM Still sleeping

7:35AM I hear my name being hollered by Giant Robot. Oh! It's only my brother who has been sent up by mom on the mission of waking me up.

7:45AM A horrible noise makes me jump and sit up in the bed. The stupid calling bell - the one that is used for communication between 'upstairs' and 'downstairs' by someone who is too lazy to climb the stairs. It's a signal from my mom to take my bum off the bed and start my day.

7:55AM I am lying in my bed thinking of how to minimize boredom within all the constraints that I have at home. Lindo says "No feasible solution exists" :(

8:00AM Am dreaming of Bangalore.

8:05AM Am thinking about my future and some serious thoughts about my life. A bed coffee would have been great.

8:10AM Somehow manage to drift off to sleep again.

8:15AM Two big hands are trying to remove my blanket and trying to touch me. Painfully, I open one of my eyes. Since I couldn’t recognise the figure in front of me, I decide to open both my eyes. A typical Mami comes into focus. There's only one problem. I have no idea who she is.

And then what I dread happens.

Mami: "Do you know who I am?"

I try to pretend to act as sleepy as possible so that she might think that I am too sleepy to recognise even Rahul Roy (one of my old crushes).

She does fall for it. Good!

But then she gives me a good shake to wake me up and sits on my bed and repeats the question again. This time with double the volume and accompanied with a very plastic smile

"Do you know who I am?"

This time I had no idea what to do. I give her a blank look. I wanted her to believe that I am the dumbest kid on this planet and how can she ask such Difficulty-level-3 questions to poor me!

I see her expression changing. The smile has almost vanished. Now she is feeling very uncomfortable. What does one do when someone tells you that they don’t remember their name or even who they are? It was evident that she was hurt.

Well. I didn't want to hurt felt that some damage control was very much called for. So I sheepishly ask her

"Give me a clue please."

The expression on her face was priceless. A pot pourri of surprise, sadness, helplessness, disbelief, loss of faith in the new generation..................

She thinks for 10 seconds and says


I say "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" buying time to think.

The only things that come to my mind when I search for Mysore are the palaces, the twin mirrors in one of palaces - the one that makes you look so-goddamn-fat and the one that makes you look thin-like-noodles - so that by the end of the experience you leave the palace being very happy about the way you actually look, Chamundi Hills, the dancing lights of Brindavan gardens, Tipu Sultan - the Tiger of Mysore, The yeshtu ghanda aithye joke by my mom and the STD code 0821. There seemed to be no more data in my archives about Mysore......And the Mami from Mysore?? Out of the question.

So now I have no choice but to tell her that even with the clue, my memory search returned NIL. I decided to do it again in a subtle manner by giving a blank-er look.

She gets the idea and decides that there's no point trying anymore. My brother who has been a witness to the entire episode gives a very sheepish smile that says 'Ha ha, I knew this would happen.'

She consoles herself that I may be too sleepy to think clearly and surely I would remember her once I get up. Wouldnt I?

I nod my head meekly.

She walks out with a very confused and sad face.

I withdraw inside the blanket. I seem to have done it again. Usually when some mamis ask me whether I know them, I nod my head with such fervour that they think that I have been thinking about them all my life. And I somehow always manage to guess their identities from the following conversations or from some clues from my mom. So they never end up asking the second question which would be to recognise them and their names. But this mami didn’t know the rules and jumped straight to the second question. Clearly her fault. :P

Started my day today with a big frown.

Looks like it's one of those days when nothing goes right. Decide to lie low and keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day.

Oh yeah. Have to see a doc today to check my RAM.
Hope he doesn’t say “Defective piece. You will just have to live with it."


Jam said...

Hey there, the suspense is killing me, who was the Maami finally? And the YESHTU GHANDA AIYTHE is quite funny to me considering that I m from Bangalore. However, my dad speaks Kannada just like that, in spite of the fact that he s been in Bangalore for around 25 yrs now. Absolutely hilarious post though.

Girl With Big Eyes said...

I still dont know who she is!!!

My mom went on about a long line of aunts and brothers and wives and sons....but for me she is still a morning-mystery-sleep-stalker!