Friday, April 29, 2005

Ant-i Climax


Ansal Chiti and Gori Chiti were two ants who had run away from the colony of the queen Badi Chiti and got married to each other. Since Mrs. Chitti was sterile, they adopted two ant kids from a nearby colony where the queen had laid more eggs than was necessary and and there was not enough food to feed all of them. So that's how Munnu and Chunnu and Mr. and Mrs. Chiti started living inside the door of a lovely house in Sarita Vihar, Delhi.

So did they live happily ever after?

No.

A beautiful house inside the door of house #255 in Sarita Vihar.

One morning Mr. Chitti found that Gori was still in bed and had not prepared their usual honey breakfast. He felt that she had changed a lot from the romantic daredevil wife she was during their honeymoon to the bakery at #220 in Sarita Vihar. He was very much in love with her and it pained him to see her lamneting like this. He believed that there was no problem in this world that could not be solved by talking it out.

"Gori darling, what’s the matter my dear. You don’t look too well."

"Oh. Well. I am tired of life Ansu. I don’t feel like living anymore. As it is I am 25 days old and past the prime of my life.<>"

"What’s the matter my dear? Aren’t you happy with me?"

"Well …………."

"Gori, tell me what is it? Aren’t you happy with me? Did I do something wrong Gori? <>"

"<> Ansal, I know we had a perfect wedding and an even better honeymoon. I still remember how my friends from the colony were jealous of us during those days! But now I am getting bored with this life. "

"Bored? Why are you bored my dear? I’ll bring you some picture books laced with honey to chew on. Or maybe I’ll take you and the kids on a boating trip in the nala nearby!"

"See, this is what I am sick of. The same things again and again. You know what Ansal, I want to be a queen. I am tired of being an ordinary ant who can’t have her own family. It hurts me so much. I want my own colony. I want a thousand workers feeding my kids. I want to live like a queen, Ansal. You can’t provide me such a life."

"Well, my dear. You are right, I cannot. But I can love you like no one can.<>"

"Bah!….what is love-shove? I want power. I am tired of this life."

"Well my dear….you can’t become a queen now. You know you don’t the ability to…."

"Oh yeah, go ahead and rub it in. I know I cannot become a queen in this life and this life of mine will drag on for 25 days more, unless……"

"Unless what?"

"Unless I die now and take birth again and become a queen! Yes, that’s it. It’s so easy!"

"Die! Are you out of your mind Gori!? What will I do? I’ll become a Devdas ant and drink nectar and go mad. You know how made-for-each-other we are? I used to know what you were thinking without even touching your antenna! …..and what will happen to the kids? Please think about all that."

"I don’t care Ansal. I have decided. I want to die. As soon as possible. You can do whatever you want with the kids and the home. "

"Well, if that’s the way you want it, let me also join you in this my dear. There is no life for me without you. I cannot even think of getting up in the morning without you by my side. Allow me to die with you my dear."

"Oh well, whatever. Let’s go then! Oh my Mother of Ants, I am going to become a queen soon! I can’t wait.<>"

"Let’s take the kids also with us. I don’t want them to become orphan ants and go work as slaves in that evil colony. Let’s all die together. <> Chunnu, Munnu….come beta. Daddy and Mummy are going to take you on a picnic"

"Where are we going daddy?"

"Someplace you have never been before.<>"

"Wow! Let's go Dad!"

"So Ansal, where are we going? Railway track? Or we go smell the shoes? or nibble on the nearby caneten daal? Or you got any other idea to commit suicide?"

"No no. I want it to be quick and painless. I want it to happen in an instant and to all of us together. We’ll go to the jogging track in the park. There it will be just a matter of time."

Jogging track in Sarita Vihar’s park.

Lakshmi, a beautiful but slightly overweight girl, is on her usual morning jogging-panting-walking-sitting routine in the park, indulging in her favourite past-time during this one hour – watching other people in the park – a lovely couple dressed in similar Reeboox tracksuits holding hands and walking, a cute grandma in a pink salwar walking slowly, two sardar kids taking a shortcut across the park to go to their school, a shady looking couple talking about how to set-up an Snow-fall environment on Yahoo IM, three big-tummied middle-aged women sharing on gossip while walking along the track, an obese businessman-type-guy talking on his phone about a half a million dollar dear on his bulky nokia, a lovely young girl with pink shoes walking along and listening to RadioMirchi……..

It was just like any other day. Laskhmi had finished her fourth round around the track and was about to start the fifth when she noticed something.

A bunch of ants standing still in the middle of the jogging track. One of them was even looking up.

Weird sight. You never see ants standing still unless they are nibbling on something. Even then they would start scuttling around in a few seconds.

Lakshmi noticed all this in the middle of her jogging and her right foot was poised in the air exactly above those ants. One more step and the ants would be reduced to tiny shapeless black dots on the track. But Lakshmi quickly changed her direction in order to avoid the mishap. Squishing ants weren’t one of her favourite things. That was when she lost her balance, fell down and sprained her ankle.

That was when the handsome hunk came to her rescue.

Hey looks like you are hurt. May I help you? By the way, I am Vishal.<>

Thanks Vishal. I am Lakshmi. I think I have sprained my ankle. <>

Ouch that can hurt. Here, let me help you till your house. There are so many ants in this park these days. Two of them climbed inside my shoes when I was doing my stretching yesterday.

Oh yeah. But don't you think they are cu....

Look, here is a bunch of them <>. There you go, you useless creatures. I should get a social service award or something for doing this. Let’s go Lakshmi?

<> On second thoughts Vishal, I think I can make it on my own. Thanks for your help. Bye.

And that is how I sprained my ankle and came across another 5-minutes-hero hunk.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

He killed Chunnu and Munnu and he is a hero ? Somebody throw him in jail please !!

Or rather, somebody give this poor girl some work. This is one idle brain that is definitely becoming a devil's workshop ;-)

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Anon,
Read the last sentence again. 5-minutes-hero is not a forever-hero.

< sob > < sob > Here we go again. Why don't people understand what I write?

Anonymous said...

And that is how I sprained my ankle and came across another 5-minutes-hero hunk.

...And that is how the post ends atleast from where I am reading it. Am I the only one who needs spectacles ? Help Help Help :-(

Benoy said...

...And again, the next day, the not-so-beautiful-but-heavily-built girl (u know who) was on her usual morning jogging-panting-walking-sitting* routine in the park. It was just like any other day. She had finished her fourth round^ around the track and was about to start the fifth...

And that was when I came across this real awesome blog of urs and I awoke from my-eyes-wide-open-sleep-here-at-office... :)) :)) :))

*Or is it sitting-sitting-and-only-sitting routine???
^She starts counting from four...


Disclaimer: Hope i havnt hurt u. No offence meant! Keep blogging!!! :D

~Benoy

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Of course :)

PS: No offence taken!

Anonymous said...

Sooper...Very cool story lady ! Keep penning !

abhash said...

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....:-)

Anonymous said...

well well , reading this post i was thinking of the movie ANTS ,, sorry have taken this script without ur permission ,, am making this a hollywood movie LOVE & ANTS , check if that works ,, meanwhile u crack ur big brain and keep writing,,


bachelor .....

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Great to know that there are some people who understood the storyline. Phew!

And Anon3, movie making and all is fine. But don't forget the royalty when the box office registers start ringing.

:)

Borya said...

Jó! A large blog! Much to read and interesting it seems. Just want to bow for you having visited my blog. Enchanté! I'm Boris.

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Ditto Boris.

:)

Anonymous said...

Really , Really cute...

Divya
www.livejournal.com/users/divyaiyer

Anonymous said...

If divya says its cute, it has to be cute. The last word has been said.

Girl With Big Eyes said...

:)

Leon Tews said...

I do not think so.