Friday, June 10, 2005

GWBE's got a gun!

I am not very comfortable travelling on airplanes. Maybe cause I haven’t travelled enough in that medium to get used to it. After each flight I get out with a bad headache and an upset tummy :(

But this post has nothing to do with that. It’s about something that happened just before my onward journey to Delhi two months back.

I was waiting for the security check to get over and to go sit in the waiting lounge to finish my book. But then lots of lines of thought were running through my mind. Or maybe I should say sounds and images

- Isn’t it ironic by Alanis Morissette

- The Mad about you episode where Helen Hunt decides that she and her husband should not travel in the same flight. Her logic? That way the chances of their kid becoming an orphan would be significantly less if something disastrous happens to their flight!

- The recent Discovery channel episode where they show how this pilot was thrown out of the plane and mangled to pieces – yet managed to survive – all because of one ill-fitting bolt in the window!

I consoled myself that the odds of something like that happening to the plane I would be travelling was really so less that I needn’t bother about it too much.

That was when I was awakened from my thought-world by a military type security guard.

Huh? What’s wrong?

Miss, please come this way. I need to check your bag.

That’s only a laptop inside. And yeah some candybars for the journey.

Not that one. That has passed. The other..hmm….very colourful bag.

Oh that one. What’s the problem? I haven’t got anything in it. Just a pair of clothes and some emergency stuff.

Can I have a look at them?

Hmmm Sure.

I opened the mouth of the sling back and pushed it towards him so that he can take a good look. But he doesn't touch it.

Please empty the bag.

What? You want me to take everything out? DUH me!

He nods.

Boy, at this point I have to say how stone faced this guy was. I tried being very cheerful and even flashed one of my special smiles at him that has been a sure shot assured-smile-in-return until now. But nope! He was still holding on to that stone-face. He must have been from the army or something. Or maybe from the Golden Beach in Chennai where they have this yuckily dressed up guy standing in a podium challenging people to make him smile! Oh yeah, that experience was also a fiasco for me!

I stopped smiling. I would rather sit in the waiting room and finish those last 5 pages of the book than empty my bag for this utterly unfriendly guy!

I had heard people describe their horrific experiences of losing their baggage during their air travels. And how difficult it was to spot them once you miss them and how utterly unhelpful the airlines are to help you find them. So I thought I’ll be smart and learn from other people’s experiences (for a change) and decided to pack all my emergency stuff in my 'colourful bag'.

For some people, emergency stuff would be just a pair of clothes and some docs, but for me it meant almost everything except the weighing scale!

I took out the first item and placed it in front of him...…a small bag of cosmetic items.

He nods and looks into the bag as if I have a bomb hidden inside somewhere.

Next come a pair of clothes.

And then out comes a pair of brightly coloured inner wear.
I should have packed them properly. I blush. Third one this year. Still no reaction from him.

Hey, there’s nothing else in here. It’s just some books and some papers.

He is not amused!

I suspect you are carrying a gun. Please empty your bag and no more talks please!

Gosh! A gun?

Do I have MPD and am I a serial killer by night? Wow!!!

Or

Did someone plant it there filmi style to take revenge on me?

Or

Was it planted by some terrorist who wanted to smuggle the gun into the plane?

OMG! That’s the only possibility.

I quickly empty the bag. After taking out a couple of books, my visiting card box, wallet, some more candy bars, couple of hair brushes, my miniature water bottle, an umbrella, my formal shoes, my mobile charger, my deo and my camera I look at him with a big question mark in my face that would have conveyed something like

See I told you, I am a nice little girl. I don’t carry guns in my bag.

He got really impatient and put his hand inside my bag and triumphantly brought out…

My hair dryer!

Aha!

I looked at him.

Thank you Ma'am. Sorry for the trouble.

And....

A smile!


No problem.

No problem at all dahling :P

15 comments:

Jupe said...

Too many points in the post to comment on and I am feeling way too lazy on a Friday afternoon, so remind me some other time plsss...

But one thing I definitely want is that sling back of urs... plsss...If it can fit all THAT stuff, its jes wot I've been looking for :-)

Abhi said...

wow.That guy was steel.standing upto a girl's "weak-knees-special -smile" is something.wat if he had found a grenade launcher in ur bag.that wud have been fun.

Girl With Big Eyes said...

No way Jupe!

It was a gift from a special person and it came all the way from Goa. But you will get to see it soon.

And yes, it can carry a lot of stuff :)

Vagabond
Grenade launcher?

:?

Lost in trance... said...

When you compare with some of the int'l airports, you got away with zilch maan! They literally poke thier fingers into every hole you can "hide" something!! That too in plain view of everyone...Its just how they are...

Girl With Big Eyes said...

ewwwwwwwww

You are just kidding right?

dinu said...

Why do you whine at everything ? :-)

Anil said...

They literally poke thier fingers into every hole you can "hide" something!!

That's a cavity search! I don't think they do that unlesss you are under arrest :-)) In the US you might be subjected to a strip search though - which is not common and definitely not in plain view :-) (now if it it was, then it would relieve the monotony of airports.. sigh)

Anil said...

Like Jupe said, there are too many points in this post to pick on.. so I'll restrain myself to one

And then out comes a pair of brightly coloured inner wear.
I should have packed them properly. I blush. Third one this year.


hahahaha... oops. I will resist the temptation to wisecrack about only 'three in a year' and go stand in the corner.

Lost in trance... said...

Boy its for real...My female friends have told me they've been through this even at US airports...Maybe depends on the officials too...

virdi said...

hello madam.... imagination running real wild.... :-) tu bahut aachi likhti hai.. shabash mere sher... errrr i mean sherni... ;-)
V..

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Dinu,
I do? Hmmm but I donno why you say that after this post? < still thinking >

Anil,
You can come from the corner and take your seat now :P
< sigh >

LiT,
If it's true (I am hearing it for the first time), it must be a really horrible experience for women. It may be true cause I have heard all sorts of stories of people smuggling in stuff stashed in 'deep inside' places. I shudder at the thought of such an examination!

virdi,
Enchante!
But what imagination are you talking about dude?

wtfdude said...

HA-HA

pass his head thru the xray scanner and guess what?.......NO BRAINS!

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Dat's a good one :)

Anil said...

Oh BTW, with all your delhi posts I forgot that you're from Calicut. I used to be a Calicuttite (argh, what a word) until I ended up here in Arizona. Living in this tree-less place makes me think fondly of the trees and rain in Calicut... to think it must be raining out there now...

Girl With Big Eyes said...

I think Kozhikod-ian would be a better sounding word :)

Oh yes, it IS raining out here. And I hugged 2 trees today. :P