Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Belated birthday wishes, SOX

Nope, SOX is not one of my 20 odd cousins, but SOX is short for Sarbanes Oxley. Read about it here if you are still not sure what it is.

Hope you had a good birthday, SOX! Am really thankful to you.

Without you I am sure I wouldn’t have had such an ‘interesting’ summer project.
Without you I wouldn’t have got a chance to go to the capital.
Without you I wouldn’t have met so many interesting people.

Like Maxi.

Maxi was one of them - was one of them cause he is no longer in my world. Neither am I in his world. Oh no, we are both very much alive, just that it’s something more complex than that :)

Maxi is no normal Joe. He is someone the Government of India has invested a lot of money in. He is someone who belongs to the so called creamiest of the lot – Yup he has an IIT and an IIM stint under his belt. Or maybe I should say he almost had an IIM stint under his belt. Let’s not get into that. That’s anyway besides the point.

In the little time that I have known Maxi, we've had some pretty interesting discussions. There have been days when just listening to Maxi had been a de-stresser after a long tiring day of ….ahem….work!

Some of my conversations with Maxi went like this.

SCENE 1
Me – “Hey Maxi, what is your dream job?”
Maxi – “I want to be a developer in Wipro or Infosys.”
Me shocked beyond control - “WHAT?! After an MBA? Are you sure?”
Maxi – “Yeah. I always wanted to do programming and I am a fresher you see.”
Me – “But why did you got for MBA then?”
Maxi – “Just for safety. (from what? aliens?) I am a fresher you see.”
Me – “Why do you keep saying that you are a fresher?”
Maxi – “Well just like that. I am fresher”
Me – “Oh well. So you are!”


SCENE 2
Me – “Why do you look so happy today Maxi?”
Maxi – “I met another guy from Vizag and we bonded in telugu!! Later we went to a South Indian restaurant and had proper food. That is what real food is.”
Me – “OK Maxi. Relax!”


SCENE 3
Miss X – “Hey do you know this girl in your college? She’s a friend of mine”
Maxi looks at me as if I had asked him an out of syllabus question!
Maxi – “No, I don’t know her.”
Miss X – “What do you mean you don’t know her? You are in the same college and it’s been a year now…come on Maxi guys would know all the girls!!!“
Maxi – “Maybe, but I am not interested in knowing them.”
Miss X – “Why is that? They are your classmates right? Don’t you ever feel the need to interact with them?”
Maxi – “Yeah but....I talk to people or remember them only if they are useful for me. Otherwise I delete them from my memory.”
Takes me sometime to digest this info and to hide my giggles.
Miss X – “Oh, so you wont remember me after these two months?”
Maxi – “No I will remember you as the most useless person I have met.”
Taken aback.
Miss X – “Ha ha. Btw did you realise that you just went against what you said earlier?”
Maxi – “What? How? That’s not possible! huh?................”

Miss X – “Okie leave it. Tell me, why would you make that exception for me and remember me?”
Maxi – “See now I know you and I think about you...so you are in my subconscious.”
Trying hard to control the peals of laughter.
Miss X - “Oh, so I am in your subconscious? Ahem....what’s cooking Maxi?”
Maxi is all perplexed doesn’t know what to say and after 10 minutes of deep thought.

Maxi to Miss X – “You are not in my subconscious now.”
Miss X – “Okie. Thanks a lot Maxi”


SCENE 4
Maxi – “Do you know that HCL is the most sought after company?”
Me – “Yeah? In what sense?”
Maxi – “Well they are the number one.”
Me – “No. 1? In what?”
Maxi – “Well everyone knows yaar....you don’t know?”
Me – “No. Tell me na...”
Maxi – “Well I don’t exactly know...I'll tell you later. But it is the number one company. I am sure about that”
I decide to keep quiet and not press the matter further.


SCENE 5
Me – “Hey Maxi, why don’t you get a SIM card for your mobile yaar? It's so difficult to reach you otherwise.”
Maxi – “I think Email is the best way to communicate. I can save that money you see.”
Me – “Why do you carry a mobile then?”
Maxi - ???


SCENE 6
Me – “Maxi, tomorrow we have to go to office no 3. So don’t come to our regular office no 4 in the morning okie?”
Maxi – “Okie”

The next day dawns…...
Maxi is missing!

Maxi – “Hey, I am calling from office no 4, where are you?”
Me – “Grr...I told you we have come to office no 3. Now how are we gonna coordinate this presentation?”
Maxi – “Well. I thought you were joking when you said that.”
Me – Huh????


SCENE 7
Me and Maxi are having lunch. Silence for 15 minutes. Then suddenly….
Maxi – “I have a doubt.”
Me – “Yeah, shoot.”
Maxi – “Is Kerala surrounded with water?”
Me – “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”


SCENE 8
Maxi – “I heard that Kerala is green in colour. Is it true?”
I wasn’t in a very good mood and so….
Me – “Yes and No. In some maps it's coloured mauve.”


SCENE 9
Lunch time again. My Sony Ericsson T610 camera phone is minding its own business and is lying in a corner in the table.
Maxi out of the blue - I think iPOD is better than a camera phone.
Me – “huh?!”
Maxi – “Yeah. It has so many more features. You can store so many files in it.”
Me – “But you can’t call someone from an iPOD, can you?
Maxi – “That’s okie. Suppose you don’t want to call anyone. Then iPOD is better.”
Me – “Okie Maxi, so tell me is a movie or an apple better?
Maxi - ????
Me – sheeeeeesh!


SCENE 10
Me – “Maxi, it's 1:45 already. Lunch pe chale?
Maxi – “No...”
Me – “Why? Skipping lunch?”
Maxi – “I have a meeting with my project guide in some time. I would rather read something than spend time eating.”
Me – “Huh? Okie.”
The meeting never happened. And Maxi kept reading till it was dinner time.


SCENE 11
Me – “The lime juice is real tasty today, isn't it?”
Maxi – “You know I read somewhere that it is proved that the productivity of people increases when they work inside a room, i.e. enclosed by four walls, rather than cyber cafe style bays or cubicles."
Me – “Oh well, there are studies on all things you can possibly imagine about. But this thing is definitely not feasible. I am gonna take one more lime juice. Want one?”
Maxi – “If I start a company – of course a software company, I’ll make small small rooms and put all the people – developers, PMs, TMs – each one in one room.”
Me – “Well maxi, to tell the truth, if I given a room all by myself, I may actually sit and read Calvin and Hobbes or watch a movie rather than do coding or bug fixing. Moreover, when people sit together it aids teamwork.”
Maxi – “Okie…but I like small rooms.”
Me – “Okie whatever. I am gonna get that lime juice.”


SCENE 12
Maxi – “Do you know that the company has filed for listing in NYSE last year?”
Me – “Correction. It filed a couple of months back, not last year”
Maxi – “Okie. But why do they want to go for an IPO. I don’t find any reason why they should go for an IPO.”
Me – “Do the words capital and visibility ring bells?”
Maxi – “Yeah, but still...I don’t agree with it. They should not go for an IPO. This is a big mistake. Can’t they see it? They SHOULD NOT go for an IPO.”
Me – “Why?”
Maxi – “They SHOULD NOT go for an IPO.”
Me – “Oh Okie. Cool down. Btw, if you feel so strongly about it why don’t you go meet Mr. CEO about it?”
Maxi – “hmmm yeah! That’s a good idea.”


SCENE 13
Me and Maxi are waiting for the lift to come up to our floor.
Me - "Kaal is releasing this Friday. Shall we all try to catch the evening show at CSM."
Maxi - "Hey, suppose the lift comes now and the door opens. If we don't get in and don't allow the door to close by blocking it, what will happen?"
Me - "Nothing. Except that we may miss lunch."
Maxi - "But what if I keep blocking it, till how much time will it resist?"
Me - "I think it will go on till you keep doing it."
Maxi - "No, I think there would be a limit that would have been set. After lunch, I am gonna try that out."
Me - "Yeah, after lunch would be a good time. Let's go for lunch now please!


I kind of miss you Maxi! Hope you are doing good wherever you are!


PS – Maxi is just a figment of my imagination. Or maybe not!

11 comments:

Lost in trance... said...

quite a funny figment of imagination i shud say....maan is this guy for real? u wuda had such a fun time in delhi !!!

Innocent Bystander said...

ROTFL!! :)) Loved the dialogues. You should write a full Maxi series in the manner of Wodehouse's Jeeves or Saki's Clovis..

Anonymous said...

Omigawd....U r schizo ???

:-p

.a. said...

“Yeah but....I talk to people or remember them only if they are useful for me. Otherwise I delete them from my memory.”

I LOVED this one. Rings all the bells in my head :)) this is the best way to put it piri... useless ==> shift+del :))


Maxi – “You know I read somewhere that it is proved that the productivity of people increases when they work inside a room, i.e. enclosed by four walls, rather than cyber cafe style bays or cubicles.

you know he is right. Joel Spolsky's Fog Creek software is one such. I'd love to work in a place like that :) he boasts of having a room with a view for every developer. how amzing is that?!
.a.

PS: btw, whoever called you a schizo, is a moron. the guy(most likely)/girl doesn't know wht schizophrenia is. my 2 cents? a so called schizo is a better than a usual non-schizo -- atleast he/she uses his/her imagination.

chaos said...

too good and too funny...
i think you can create a character (a nerd to be more precise) and cook up a series :D

keep rolling
cheers

Amit said...

Everything was so hilarious and stupid. Was just wondering while reading the series, how come one can encounter such incidences and ppl again n again.

Woh kahte hain na dood ka jala chach ko bhi fuk fuk ke peeta hain. Actually this is one phrase in hindi which I guess may be difficult for you to understand. let me translate this for u:-)Once bitten twice shy..

How come you were not twice shy? Thot this may also be one of those hilarious moments created or imagined by u. After reading some of your blogs I have believed that you are a good narrator and excellent at concocting funny stories.

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Had a swell time in Delhi, LiT! Never a dull moment. :)

Well, presently this is the only Maxi-sms I have. Flattered, Innocent Bystander!

A,
Me too! Fog Creek sounds like a heaven for developers. I mean a room with a view so that you can rest your eyes is just too much :)

Good to see you in here A :)

Thanks Chaos. Btw I have nothing against nerds. I actually like them :)

Amit,
I guess I have answered to this query of yours. I guess things just happened and I had my eyes and ears open at that time :)

Thanks again :)

mani said...

i am hundredd percend shure thaat this ungle is a real maan..
How did you manege to get so many philosophical statments from Maxi?

On a serious note, is he really from IIM/IIT? I cannot believe it..

virdi said...

priya>> seriously asking... have you ever considered writing a book?? may be collection of short stories?? Maxi is very much like Swami from Malgudi days... hey priya write a book.. u r wasting ur talent doing MBA... ok u r adding a degree but u r so good in writing why do you want to make PPTs and write Word Documents all your life?? Give it a thought!!!
cheers..
V..

a wafting petal said...

nice one priya. i think i've been a bit of a maxi to a priya. your post made me see it, sorta!

Dewdrop said...

ROTFL :D Absolutely loved it