Friday, July 07, 2006

Wedding Blues

It's not everyday that I get to attend these typical TamBrahm weddings. And thank god for that. For other than being a good place to meet long lost relatives and to catch up with your cousins, I generally don't enjoy sitting through one.

Especially because of the things you get to hear.

”Oh my Priyakutti, the saari you are wearing is so gorgeous. You look picture perfect.”

Well after a tiring all night bus journey home which ensured that all my bones got a good jostle, I don't know which picture she was talking about. But yes, compliments are always welcome. Thank you aunty.

”Hey, nice colour your saari has. Where from dear?”
At this point, my mother proudly pitches in.
”This is the latest in design. I told the shopkeeper I want nothing but the latest in design for my daughter. See all the threadwork. Here and here and here too. And it doesn't come any cheap. Well if you ask me for the price, I'd have to say that 5K won't be enough to get one of these babies…..”

My dear mom!!! Why do you think the most expensive would always be the best? And whatever gave you the idea that a saari with windows on it and diamond-look-alike stones stuck on it would be something your daughter would like? And why should weddings be an occasion where you have to splurge so much on what you wear? Let the bride and groom take care of that. Well, they already do!

”Hey, here's the heroine of the family. Heard you passed out of IIM and all. Midukki. But dear, you are not getting any younger. Next time I come down here, it should be for your wedding. Okie? Come on, and promise me.”

I have nothing but a sheepish smile to give for that.

”I am already so old Priya. I don't know how long I am gonna be alive. Why don't you get married soon so that I can attend one more wedding? Promise that to this granny. It's my dying wish.”

Now if this isn't blackmailing, what is?!!

”Oh molu, look at the groom, he is so fair and so handsome, no? We'll find you someone like that or maybe even better, nothing but the best for Priyakutty.”

Thank you. But I like them dark and a little ugly auntyji.
Why oh why are always fair and chikna men considered the best? Why can't they say we'll find you a smarter guy. Why do people think that “a handsome guy + very fair girl = blissfully married couple”?

But then I love these occasions that happen once in a blue moon that gets my entire family under one roof. All ages, all sizes and all shapes and all kinds – all of them unique.

More than anything I just love the next generation in my family. Cousins whom I have played house house with a zillion times, cousins who have bit me so hard and made me cry for hours together, cousins who have played horrible pranks on me, cousins whom I have scared during power cuts using a torch and my long hair to maximum effect, cousins for whom I would wait longingly for every summer vacation, cousins whom I love very very much......

Suddenly realised that those have become things of past now. Sweet memories that will be talked about or just silently remembered and sighed upon on such occasions.

I have faith in this generation. They are bold, they are smart and they are go-getters. The little kids whom I have seen running around in chaddis chasing their HotWheels, talk nothing but stuff ranging from latest mobiles and high-end lappies to guys and gals and philosophy and career and life.
I realised they are also growing up with me and are getting better day by day.

And of course, they have the best of everything too.
Including a sister like me :)


Nikhil Narayanan said...

u back on track.....
nice read....
PS:cousin SIBM il aano??

mathew said...

hey..but we guys to face such comment on a lesser scale..Instead of showing that shy wry smile..We just retort with some silly comments that mite get the questioner off guard!!!

yetanother.softwarejunk said...

Cool post !!
Childhood memories are very sweet.

rakuboy said...


PythoRoshan said...


db said...

Stumbled upon your blog here .. nice post ...

One critical point you seem to have omitted (intentionally or otherwise).. Its a phenomenon that occurs as unfailingly as the Halley's comet ..every wedding I attend .. some unfamiliar face would approach me and say ..."Enna orrmai irukko ? En peru XYZ mama / mami ... Naan pandu orukka unga aathuku vandhurukken ...Nee chinna kozhandhai-a irundhai appo" .... and for the sake of politeness & courtesy to elders, I just grin like an idiot, thinking to myself, " How dumb a question is that ? The answer lies in the question itself .. If i was a li'l baby then, how am I supposed to recognize you now ?" ...

Newayz .. good bloggin .. keep it up !

Cheerio !!

Anonymous said...

Happened to visit ur blog today..Wanted to point out that its perhaps the old world values of the previous generation,(and not inspite of it as ur post seems to hint at), which is helping the current generation get to where it is..The old generation aint always wrong and the new one not always rite(and vice versa,of course!)


Anonymous said...

Priya,hope u are safe and sound..from the terrible happenings in mumbai..

juan said...

adddipoli! (been a long time since i said that to anything ;)
sadly doesn't get better after you get married. they give you that question mark look on their face when they ask pinne enthokkeya vishesham?! stressing that last word with a twinkle in their eye. if you ask me, that is worse then the why-the-hell-aren't-you-married-YET?! look because it is waaaaaaaay more embarrasing! i mean cmon! the world's over-populated already! what's the freaking bloody hurry! i mean heck, would you please leave the family planning to me and my husband!

:D that made me feel a lot better. :))

great post, piri. :)

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Nikhil, yetanother,

Hey Mathew,
Yup! Guys always have it easy when it comes to questions about marriage. And strangely, I've noticed that the guys who make all those painful marriage jokes are the ones who get hitched to the bandwagon first! And that too willingly! Why is that!

What you have written is one of my biggest worries when I meet relatives. With my great memory, I even manage to forget people I've met just an year ago :(

Yup. You are right.
But there were no hidden hints in the post. Was just trying to recount certain recurring occurances.

Thanks for your concern. I moved back to Bangalore before the bag of woes were opened for all in Mumbai to see and feel.

And :) to you too rakuboy and an amen to you Roshan!

Hey Juan,
Point taken. I've seen some cousins of mine going through the same ordeal and relieved when they visit after having a kid :P

But hey, you know what will be fun to do? Let's come up with some neat comebacks for this situation. Let's do it when we meet next!

I already started scouting for some and here are some winners..............

Q: So why aren't you two having kids yet?

Ans 1: "Because I want to lick the spoon. I finally got exclusive rights to the spoon and I'm not giving them up!"

Ans 2: "Crap!!!! I knew there was something I was forgetting to do! I thought I had too much money and free time on my hands, and my house is way to clean. I've felt so rested and there is a certain stickiness missing from my life. I should have known when I wasn't dealing with other humans waste and vomit. That's right, kids are what I need to wreck all this joy I've been burdened with!!!! I'll be getting right on that!!!"

Ans3: "I'd rather regret NOT having children, than regret HAVING children. Cause once you have them, its a lot difficult putting them back."

Ans 4: "If you buy a house next door and babysit whenever I have the whim (3 AM on a Tuesday?.....3 weeks in June as I travel through Europe?) I might consider it."

Ans 5: "Why do you ask, are you jealous?"

Ans 6: "What!? After seeing your kids? No thanks!"

mathew said...

chk out this blog..

stories very much similar to what u have written!!

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Hey Mathew,

Thanks for the link. Already spent a good half an hour going through it.

Anonymous said...

that was really a touching one ..
i loved it ....

taggy said...

really enjoyable read that ! :) something that i see happening everytime me and my sis go for a weddin ;)

taggy :)