Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A lonesome geek

Conversations. Some unintentionally overheard and some intentionally meddled.

Joe at work: Hey Lucy, I’ve brought my camera today to take some snaps at work for our new website.

Lucy
: That’s great Joe. That looks like a nice camera.

Joe
: Yeah, it’s an SLR. I love this thing. Just wait till you see the shots.

Lucy
: Looking forward to it. What’s the resolution?

Joe
: Resolution is excellent. I get high quality images in this.

Lucy
: Good! How many megapixels?

Joe
: Well I am not sure. It’s a lot – I am sure about that. Cost me a bundle. Maybe 3…no it’s definitely 5.

Lucy
: I see.

Joe
: I’ve had this baby for so many years now, I don’t remember.

Lucy
: Of course!

Lucy
thinks: I'll have to get someone to take some snaps. Can't trust this idiot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mo is at the tube station with her friend Jo. Jo is visiting London and is awed by the underground system. She stares at the underground map for sometime and takes out a notebook and starts to draw the map in it.

Mo: Why don’t you just take a photo of that map with your new camera-phone?

Jo
: Oh yeah, that’s a good idea! Now, why didn’t I think of that? Thanks Mo.

Mo
: My pleasure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He: I think we are lost.

She
: That’s just great! What do we do now?

He
: Let’s hope that we reach a gas station so that we can ask them where we are and how to get out of here.

She gives him the silent treatment for long five minutes liberally punctuated with pregnant sighs.

She: I have an idea. Your PDA has an inbuilt GPS right? Let’s use that.

He
: I had forgotten it had GPS. What would I do without you?

She
thinks: I could do very well without you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He: Hey Susie, check out my new car. Got this baby delivered to me last week. Care for a spin?

She
: Sure, let’s take her to the highway.

He
: Here we go. Listen to her purr under my hands!

She
: Hey what are all these flashy controls on the dashboard.

He
: …er….I don’t know.

She
: Hey, can you please drop me here? I saw an old friend. I’ll see you later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boss and Sheila are on their way to a business trip abroad. They finish check-in formalities at Mumbai airport.

Boss: Sheesh….I have to sent an important mail. Our hotel reservations aren’t done yet.

Sheila
thinks I knew I couldn't trust this guy: Oh no, what do we do now? Can we call the person?

Boss
: It’s a Saturday and I don’t have person’s mobile number. I have to find a Wifi spot quick.

Sheila
: It’s over there, but I think there are some technical issues. It's closed.

Boss
: Well then, we’ll just have to risk it.

Sheila
: Wait a minute. Don’t you have an official Nokia communicator? Why don’t you use that to send the mail?

Boss
sheepishly: I don’t know how to send email on that.

Sheila
: Here, let me help you. I have the settings on my phone. Thinks - it's going to a really long two weeks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He: I am so busy these days, I don’t get to read your blog. Or even newspapers for that matter.

She
: That’s a lousy excuse. You just don’t care!

He
: Promise, I do. If only I had some more time.

She
: Why don’t you subscribe to the RSS feeds on your high-end mobile and read them during your commute?

He
: I can do that. Can you set it up for me please? Your blog, Daily mail, Financial Times, Rediff. Thanks :)

She
thinks: Why I do keep hanging out with him? He's such a tech virgin. Not really my type.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She: Hey Ram, what you upto?

He
: Chatting with my mom. I haven’t met her in a year now. She has bought a webcam at my request. I meant to buy one too so that she can see me, but have been too busy at work to remember. Let me go out and buy one right away.

She
: Isn’t that tiny thing on your laptop lid an inbuilt webcam?

He
: Let me check. Oh yeah, it is a webcam! How I wish you had told this to me a year back! Thanks a ton.

She
thinking: Why do you people buy these things? you should be made to take a test before you are allowed to buy these gorgeous gadgets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Manager: Third party training costs are so high; our project is going to overshoot the budget.

BA
: How did that happen? I thought we were on the right track so far; No slippages so far, right?

Manager
: Well, now I have a request to train 40 more people before this product is rolled out to the customer. But initially it was only 12 people and the room cannot accommodate more.

BA
: Well, maybe you don’t have to worry. Let’s book 4 more rooms. These rooms have video-conferencing equipment right? Let’s run the training live in one room and broadcast to the others. We can have the trainer go to each room in rotation so that all of them get to meet him face to face for some part of the day.

Manager
: Fantastic. Let me take you out to a drink after work!

BA
: Thanks! ( thinks: but how about a hike? )

I rest my case.

Tech companies love them. Tech enthusiasts look down upon them. I try to enlighten them whenever I can. Aren’t we all surrounded by tech-illiterates?

I really feel sorry for these people. Social pressure makes them shell out hard-earned money to buy the latest gadgets packed with powerful features. But they end up as nothing more than show-pieces and terribly underutilised.

Do your good deed for the day, spread some tech-literacy. :)

9 comments:

Rinchen said...

Heh heh. I became somewhat of a tech literate after reading this post. Guess thats another good deed for you, GWBE!

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Glad to be of service! :)

Nsn said...

You are bang on target, people buy fancy stuff just to parade it. Even if they are literate enough to use, I feel the utilization levels are so low to justify the investment.

Affordability is making people go insane and buy things which are going to be utilized

Girl With Big Eyes said...

....and we have the ugly head of consumerism staring right back at us!

chaos said...

LOL... too good :D ...

Anonymous said...

when can we get to see some marvel from your new SLR ?
..........waiting

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Wait no more!

vinaygmurthy said...

LOL, this is brilliant.

-Vinay

Girl With Big Eyes said...

Tx Vinay. Good to see you around.